I’m so effing pissed the hell off!

I started my new big-girl State job on May 14th.  My first pay was supposed to be on June 4th.  Well, here’s the shittiness of my situation.

On May 4th and June 18th I was given advanced paychecks.  Basically, I was told that my payroll stuff had been processed and yet somehow I wasn’t on “regular payroll”.  The advanced checks are 60% of the projected untaxed pay one is to receive.  So, my first two “paychecks” sucked ass.  Once on regular payroll you must pay back the advanced check money because it’s not taxed and somehow screws up payroll and taxes if it is automatically deducted from the first “real” paycheck.  So, on July 2nd I was thinking that surely I’d get my first real paycheck.  Well, the state feels that they must mail the first check rather than direct depositing it.  Sigh.  My check did not arrive as of July 3rd even though my fellow new employees received their checks in the mail on payday (the 2nd).  The following day I clued my boss in to the situation and left work early to check my post office box.  No check.  That Saturday I checked again – no paycheck.  On Monday I tracked down the HR lady.  She was already aware of the situation.  She wasn’t helpful.  I left work early again.  No check.  On Tuesday I emailed, called, and tracked down the HR lady again.  She talked with central payroll.  They sent the check to the wrong address (wtf).  HR lady told me she would contact central payroll again and have them cancel the original check and reissue my paycheck and have it sent to our office (why the fuck didn’t she do that when she was on the phone with them in the first place?).

I am currently going through training in a city that’s about 2 hours (with traffic) from my office.  I am driving back and forth with two other ladies.  So, Wednesday I was on the phone with HR lady asking about the status of my check.  I didn’t get any answers.  Thursday I was told that the original check was canceled and a new one would be reissued (WTH DOES IT TAKE SO FUCKING LONG?!) and then sent to the office where our training is.  Um.  WHAT?!  Why wouldn’t it be sent to OUR office?!  So, today I could not get ahold of HR lady or her boss.  After training I managed to track down a person in central payroll who was able to tell me that my new check had been put in the mail today.

Today.  Fucking Today.  Friday.  The day before the weekend begins.  Three more fucking days with no pay.  What the fucking hell is this bullshit about?!  So, my check *should* be at the other office on Monday.  I don’t have to be to that particular office until Tuesday.  I am so taking a roadtrip on Monday to collect my check.

Here are the things that are so very terribly wrong with this:

1. I have no money.
2. I’m not being paid.
3. I can’t buy food.
4. I can’t buy gas.
5. I can’t pay bills.

My solution?  I’m going to file one hell of a grievance as soon as I figure out how to do so.  This is absofuckinglutely ridiculous.

My stress level is through the roof.  I’m exhausted because I’m not getting enough sleep because I have no money.  I now own people money.  My bank account has NEVER been so horribly overdrawn.

I’m thinking about drinking myself stupid tonight.  Of all the things I don’t have in my fridge, I do happen to have vodka, and more than enough vodka to get thoroughly drunk.

Also, I’m requesting that my new employers pay the late fee for my rent.  Bastards.