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Hello.  My name is Gizah and I am a self-doubt-aholic.

Maybe the intro should be more like: Hello, my name is Gizah.  I am a self-doubter. And you would be too if you were me.  Because I am not … anything.

Jerry and I are supposed to be going on a date on Thursday.  Jerry doesn’t communicate frequently.  My brain is translating that as:

1. Jerry isn’t going to show up for the date.
2. Jerry doesn’t want to go on the date.
3. I don’t blame him for not wanting to go out with me.
4. Why would anyone want to go out with me?
5. I’m a shitty person.

Self-doubt and self-loathing.  Ugh!!  I’m not a bad person!  I ***know*** that!  I have a hard time accepting that fact when I’m feeling insecure.

And this is all on me.  This is a “me problem”.  No one else is saying these things. No one else is insinuating that I’m a shitty person or that I’m not worthy of being with someone.  And Jerry hasn’t canceled or indicated that he isn’t coming.  It’s an irrational fear that I have and that I have to work out.

I already to Marshall than he and his gf could use the tickets to the show if he doesn’t come.  Yes, I like to jump the gun.  On everything.  Always.