A friend of mine told me about the Sex Addiction Screening Test. She said that she is a sex addict and is fairly certain that I am also one. I’m not at all offended that she thinks so, because I think so, too. The test is simple. The first step involves checking off some basic demographics:
I stated that I am bisexual because… well, the basic definition of bisexual is a person who is attracted to both men and women. And based on my life experiences, I’d say that is true of myself. I choose to act (mostly) straight. I’ve been attracted to about 3 women in my adulthood. I’ve only kissed a couple… I’ve never gone further than that. Mostly, I consider myself heterosexual, but in reality, I should really consider myself bisexual.
The above questions are self-explanatory. Idk if anyone how outright said, “I’m concerned about your sexual behaviors,” but I’m sure people are. And that’s okay. I don’t blame them.
Again, self-explanatory. However, for number 8, I wouldn’t mind some feedback. I had a sexual experience via a car repair man when I was 12 years old. During the summer 1996 my dad and I were working on the family van (you could work on your own vehicles) and this mechanic walked by while my dad wasn’t around. He managed to touched my breasts (because, you know, I was already pretty developed for a 12 year old) and crotch as he walked past me. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know what to say. So, I didn’t say anything to anyone. I wasn’t traumatized. I just moved on. Since that was the only incident, I’ve marked #8 as “no”.
(Below, the bolded questions are ones I will discuss.)
#13 – Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you and your family?
I stated NO because my family is clueless about my sexual behavior. They did become upset when they learned that I was living with Marshall (they thought we had *just* moved in together. They have no idea about anything about me in regards to my sexual behavior). However, IF they knew about my behaviors, they’d be highly upset.
#21 – When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
I do not feel depressed afterwards. I feel fucking fantastic. If I haven’t had sex in a couple weeks and/or if I’m trying to get into a relationship with somebody and things aren’t working out, then I become depressed. But not after I’ve had sex.
#31/#35 – Have you purchased services online for erotic purposes (sites for dating, pornography, fantasy and friend finder)?/Have you subscribed to or regularly purchased or rented sexually explicit materials (magazines, videos, books or online pornography)?
I have not PURCHASED online services for sex. I have for dating, but not sex. I
might be am a member of an online hookup site, but I don’t pay for it. And I wouldn’t be on the site if I did have to pay. I do not get on the site regularly. And when I do, it’s only to watch a few of the homemade porn videos that I like… nothing unrealistic.
#43 – Have you traded sex for money or gifts?
This was a toughy. I have never paid for sex. But buy me dinner, a couple of drinks, and make me laugh? Yeah, I’ll probably sleep with you. (I just rolled my eyes at myself.)
#46 – Have you regularly engaged in sadomasochistic behavior?
Please, choke me. Tie me up, blindfold me. Spank me. Call me a dirty girl. Tell me what you want… Mmmm…
#51 – Has your sexual behavior put you at risk for arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency?
Okay, this one goes hand-in-hand with #16. This is why the behavior is illegal/puts me at risk for arrest: front seat of my car on a college campus, front seat of my car in a bowling alley parking lot, back seat of my car in the mall parking lot, hood of my car under a street light that can be seen from the highway, outdoor stairwell of an apartment building, in the hatchback of a car at a party where at least 50 people could see, in the back of a jeep in a driveway… and so on.
We have compared your answers with people who have been diagnosed with sex addiction. Your answers HAVE MET a score on a basis of six criteria that indicate sex addiction is present. To help you understand, the graphic below plots your score in relation to the scores of others.
There is much more to the results, but that’s the important part. I’m at a 14. A FOURTEEN!! Sigh. I really don’t feel the need for help. I don’t mind my sex addiction. But, I do know that in the long term, this will hinder me from finding a healthy, long-lasting relationship. Maybe. You know, when I was dating Marshall, I was 100% faithful. I didn’t stray at all. I even shut down inappropriate conversations with other people because I didn’t want to jeopardize our relationship. And then I ended up getting cheated on by him. I was so crushed! So, while I’m a sex addict, I can control my behavior within a relationship. I was even super patient with him when we went long periods of time without sex…
Okay. So that’s probably waaaaaay too much information. I only have one real-life friend who reads my blog. Hopefully she isn’t disgusted with me.