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A friend of mine told me about the Sex Addiction Screening Test.  She said that she is a sex addict and is fairly certain that I am also one.  I’m not at all offended that she thinks so, because I think so, too.  The test is simple.  The first step involves checking off some basic demographics:

1. Please indicate gender:
Male Female
2. Indicate Orientation:
Heterosexual Bisexual Homosexual

I stated that I am bisexual because… well, the basic definition of bisexual is a person who is attracted to both men and women.  And based on my life experiences, I’d say that is true of myself.  I choose to act (mostly) straight.  I’ve been attracted to about 3 women in my adulthood.  I’ve only kissed a couple…  I’ve never gone further than that.  Mostly, I consider myself heterosexual, but in reality, I should really consider myself bisexual.

3. I have no concerns about my sexual behavior but am curious how I would score.
No Yes
4. I have no concerns about my sexual behavior but others are concerned.
No Yes
5. I am having problems with my sexual behavior but do not consider myself a “sex addict.”
No Yes
6. I know I am a sex addict.
No Yes
7. I have sought therapy because of my sexual problems.
No Yes

The above questions are self-explanatory.  Idk if anyone how outright said, “I’m concerned about your sexual behaviors,” but I’m sure people are.  And that’s okay. I don’t blame them.

8. Were you sexually abused as a child or adolescent?
No Yes
9. Did your parents have trouble with sexual behavior?
No Yes
10. Do you often find yourself preoccupied with sexual thoughts?
No Yes

Again, self-explanatory.  However, for number 8, I wouldn’t mind some feedback.  I had a sexual experience via a car repair man when I was 12 years old.  During the summer 1996 my dad and I were working on the family van (you could work on your own vehicles) and this mechanic walked by while my dad wasn’t around.  He managed to touched my breasts (because, you know, I was already pretty developed for a 12 year old) and crotch as he walked past me.  I didn’t know what to think.  I didn’t know what to say.  So, I didn’t say anything to anyone.  I wasn’t traumatized.  I just moved on.  Since that was the only incident, I’ve marked #8 as “no”.

(Below, the bolded questions are ones I will discuss.)

11. Do you feel that your sexual behavior is not normal?
No Yes
12. Do you ever feel bad about your sexual behavior?
No Yes
13. Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you and your family?
No Yes
14. Have you ever sought help for sexual behavior you did not like?
No Yes
15. Has anyone been hurt emotionally because of your sexual behavior?
No Yes
16. Are any of your sexual activities against the law?
No Yes
17. Have you made efforts to quit a type of sexual activity and failed?
No Yes
18. Do you hide some of your sexual behaviors from others?
No Yes
19. Have you attempted to stop some parts of your sexual activity?
No Yes
20. Have you felt degraded by your sexual behaviors?
No Yes
21. When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
No Yes
22. Do you feel controlled by your sexual desire?
No Yes
23. Have important parts of your life (such as job, family, friends, leisure activities) been neglected because you were spending too much time on sex?
No Yes
24. Do you ever think your sexual desire is stronger than you are?
No Yes
25. Is sex almost all you think about?
No Yes
26. Has sex (or romantic fantasies) been a way for you to escape your problems?
No Yes
27. Has sex become the most important thing in your life?
No Yes
28. Are you in crisis over sexual matters?
No Yes
29. Has the Internet created sexual problems for you?
No Yes
30. Do you spend too much time online for sexual purposes?
No Yes
31. Have you purchased services online for erotic purposes (sites for dating, pornography, fantasy and friend finder)?
No Yes
32. Have you used the Internet to make romantic or erotic connections with people online?
No Yes
33. Have people in your life been upset about your sexual activities online?
No Yes
34. Have you attempted to stop your online sexual behaviors?
No Yes
35. Have you subscribed to or regularly purchased or rented sexually explicit materials (magazines, videos, books or online pornography)?
No Yes
36. Have you been sexual with minors?
No Yes
37. Have you spent considerable time and money on strip clubs, adult bookstores and movie houses?
No Yes
38. Have you engaged prostitutes and escorts to satisfy your sexual needs?
No Yes
39. Have you spent considerable time surfing pornography online?
No Yes
40. Have you used magazines, videos or online pornography even when there was considerable risk of being caught by family members who would be upset by your behavior?
No Yes
41. Have you regularly purchased romantic novels or sexually explicit magazines?
No Yes
42. Have stayed in romantic relationships after they became emotionally or physically abusive?
No Yes
43. Have you traded sex for money or gifts?
No Yes
44. Have you maintained multiple romantic or sexual relationships at the same time?
No Yes
45. After sexually acting out, do you sometimes refrain from all sex for a significant period?
No Yes
46. Have you regularly engaged in sadomasochistic behavior?
No Yes
47. Do you visit sexual bath-houses, sex clubs or adult video/bookstores as part of your regular sexual activity?
No Yes
48. Have you engaged in unsafe or “risky” sex even though you knew it could cause you harm?
No Yes
49. Have you cruised public restrooms, rest areas or parks looking for sex with strangers?
No Yes
50. Do you believe casual or anonymous sex has kept you from having more long-term intimate relationships?
No Yes
51. Has your sexual behavior put you at risk for arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency?
No Yes
52. Have you been paid for sex?
No Yes

#13 – Has your sexual behavior ever created problems for you and your family?
I stated NO because my family is clueless about my sexual behavior.  They did become upset when they learned that I was living with Marshall (they thought we had *just* moved in together.  They have no idea about anything about me in regards to my sexual behavior).  However, IF they knew about my behaviors, they’d be highly upset.

#21 – When you have sex, do you feel depressed afterwards?
I do not feel depressed afterwards.  I feel fucking fantastic.  If I haven’t had sex in a couple weeks and/or if I’m trying to get into a relationship with somebody and things aren’t working out, then I become depressed.  But not after I’ve had sex.

#31/#35 – Have you purchased services online for erotic purposes (sites for dating, pornography, fantasy and friend finder)?/Have you subscribed to or regularly purchased or rented sexually explicit materials (magazines, videos, books or online pornography)?
I have not PURCHASED online services for sex.  I have for dating, but not sex.  I might be am a member of an online hookup site, but I don’t pay for it.  And I wouldn’t be on the site if I did have to pay.  I do not get on the site regularly.  And when I do, it’s only to watch a few of the homemade porn videos that I like… nothing unrealistic.

#43 – Have you traded sex for money or gifts?
This was a toughy.  I have never paid for sex.  But buy me dinner, a couple of drinks, and make me laugh?  Yeah, I’ll probably sleep with you.  (I just rolled my eyes at myself.)

#46 – Have you regularly engaged in sadomasochistic behavior?
Please, choke me.  Tie me up, blindfold me.  Spank me.  Call me a dirty girl.  Tell me what you want…  Mmmm…

#51 – Has your sexual behavior put you at risk for arrest for lewd conduct or public indecency?
Okay, this one goes hand-in-hand with #16.  This is why the behavior is illegal/puts me at risk for arrest: front seat of my car on a college campus, front seat of my car in a bowling alley parking lot, back seat of my car in the mall parking lot, hood of my car under a street light that can be seen from the highway, outdoor stairwell of an apartment building, in the hatchback of a car at a party where at least 50 people could see, in the back of a jeep in a driveway… and so on.

RESULTS:

We have compared your answers with people who have been diagnosed with sex addiction. Your answers HAVE MET a score on a basis of six criteria that indicate sex addiction is present. To help you understand, the graphic below plots your score in relation to the scores of others.

Your score is 14 out of 20

There is much more to the results, but that’s the important part.  I’m at a 14.  A FOURTEEN!!  Sigh.  I really don’t feel the need for help.  I don’t mind my sex addiction.  But, I do know that in the long term, this will hinder me from finding a healthy, long-lasting relationship.  Maybe.  You know, when I was dating Marshall, I was 100% faithful.  I didn’t stray at all.  I even shut down inappropriate conversations with other people because I didn’t want to jeopardize our relationship.  And then I ended up getting cheated on by him.  I was so crushed! So, while I’m a sex addict, I can control my behavior within a relationship.  I was even super patient with him when we went long periods of time without sex…

Okay.  So that’s probably waaaaaay too much information.  I only have one real-life friend who reads my blog.  Hopefully she isn’t disgusted with me.

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