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So, I continue to decline the badger dude because I’m not looking for someone new to hookup with.  Therefore, I invited a previous had man over for a hookup on Friday night.  I was completely unfulfilled.  I mean, I had fun.  But here’s the problem:

I really, really, really like this guy (like a lot).  We dated for only 6 months.  On July 8, 2016 he broke things off with me because “something is missing”.  Apparently I’m not good enough.  Okay, he didn’t say that.  That’s how I felt though.  Since that time we’ve managed to forge a good friendship and I will cherish every minute I have with him.  When I told him about this random dude proposing to me from Morocco, he asked if I was doing the online dating thing again.  I said, yes.  I also said, “You see, there’s this guy I like so, so much and could totally see myself having a future with… since this guy doesn’t see the amazing awesomeness we could be together 😉 I’ve decided that I need to at least try to branch out.  I mean, a girl can only try to change a guy’s mind for so long before she has to start browsing online.  Lol.”  He responded by saying “this guy must be a real dillweed.”  Haha!

Anyway, I’ve been afraid that I would go into a downward spiral and end up out of control again with my sex addiction.  It’s kinda what I do — Heartbroken? Fuck somebody.  Lonely? Get laid.  Bored? Invite that guy over.  Stressed? Find a hookup.  Sad? More poor life choices…

I haven’t been too terrible this time around.  I have slept with other people since he and I broke up.  He and I have hooked up several times, too.  But, I have only slept with 2 new people since the break up.  Two new people in 6 months and you still sleep with the ex, you say?  Pfft.  That’s nothing.  I’m really trying to be healthier in all areas of my life, including my sex life.

Oh.  The 2 new people doesn’t include the 3-some I had…  My bad.  that’s a tale for a different day, though.  😉

Laters.

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